by user Pean

In real baseball news

Mike Mussina pitched another excellent game for the New York Yankees, coming out of the game in the 8th inning with an at-the-time comfortable 8-1 lead. However, the Yanks bullpen almost gave away the game, letting The Texas Rangers climb all the way back to 8-7. Yankees closer Mariano Rivera, who entered the game in the 8th, was able to settle down after allowing a few hits to nail down the save. The win was Mussina's 229th career victory.

After Moose left the game with a runner on and no outs, the Yankees bullpen allowed 5 ER, 6 Hits, a Walk and a hit batsmen.

Derek Jeter had 2 RBI and 2 runs, and Alex Rodriguez had 3 RBI to lead the Yankees hitting attack.

Texas starter Vicente Padilla was tagged with the loss, struggling with control walking 5 batters, allowing 6 hits and 7 ER in 3 and 2/3 innings.

In fake baseball news

Now I have been doing fantasy baseball for about 8 years, but a Yanks fan for as long as I can remember. For some reason, I never seem to have any Yanks on my fantasy teams. One theory, is that I try to avoid "picking with my heart" (like a Giants fan picking Shockey in the 2nd round of a fantasy football draft), and I overcompensate. At the end of the draft, I realize I have no Yankees. No big deal -- I follow the team just as usual (except for the occasional "My ace pitcher is facing my favorite team" fantasy condundrum -- I think a whole article can be devoted to this). Anyway, this season I decide to take Mo Rivera pretty early as my top closer, and take a chance on Moose in the later rounds. So, every 5th day, I have a chance to get the 'ol "win and a save" in the same game, yet also the disastrous "your closer blowing your starters win" game (plus, in my league we do Saves minus Blown saves -- so, blown saves are pretty much a kick in your fantasy nuts). Add in the fact that the Yankees are my favorite team, multiply both scenarios by a hundred.

So tonight I turn on the Texas-New York game, and the Yankees are cruising with an 8-1 lead in the 5th inning. Here are my fantasy baseball crazed thoughts (I hope some of you can relate -- if not, please organize an intervention on my behalf).

Warning: Before continuing, Fantasy Baseball Discretion Is Advised

Yankees up 8-1 in the 5th: "Ok, Moose seems to be cruising again. I see I already got a win out of Schilling, this should be 2 Wins Tonight for the "No Talent Ass Clowns"! Man, I should've put in Baez instead of Otsuka -- I can only get 1 save out of this game. Oh well, its 8-1 and I should get the win from Mussina...looks like no saves for me tonight.

Moose comes out of the game in the 8th after a leadoff single: "Ok its 8-1. I would gladly trade in that ER right now if it led to a Rivera save. Even if this runner scores, Moose can only get charged for 2 ER in 7 INN. 4 more Texas runs and its a save sitch. Texas is good, but its still 8-1. The Yanks pen has been solid so far."

Farnsworth strikes out Teixeira : "Ok 2 outs, in an 8-3 game with bases loaded. Ok Bring in Rivera! Tying run is on deck so its a save sitch! Wow I'm getting a huge break!"

Farnsworth walks Nevin: "Ok 8-4 now. Mo comes in! Mo can definetly get one out here. No big deal."

Blalock singles to right: "Urgh. 8-6 Yanks. It's OK. Not Rivera's ER at least".

Kevin Mench up now: "I can see him getting fatter. Crappy single to left center!! No!!!! 8-7 Yanks. I am now one more hit away from the dreaded "BLOWN SAVE" (by the way, I had Francisco Cordero on my team for the month of April).

Wilkerson up with men on first and second, and an 0-2 count: "Ok, he's leading the universe in K's, so I think I'm good here. Rivera hit him in the elbow! Noooo! Bases loaded AGAIN"

Barajas Up: "Makes contact, OH MY..OFF THE BAT IT LOOKS LIKE A HIT UP THE MIDDLE...BLOWN SAVE AND NO WIN!....WHEW Cano gets it and flips for the final out in the 8th."

Bernie grounds into double play in the top of the 9th: "No closer-insurance runs. ugh"

Matthews Jr singles in the 9th with 1 out: "If he steals second, one hit blows everything"

Michael Young up: "Ground ball to deep short...Jeter makes an excellent grab to his right, makes a crazy throw to Cano across his body as he drifts into the outfield....OUT AT 2nd! What a freaking amazing play! And everyone says Jeter is an average SS".

Teixeira Up: "Texas' best hitter vs. our best pitcher. Bring. It. On. Lined out to right! Yankees win. W for Moose, SV for Rivera. Go fantasy team! Go Yankees!"

I think its now clear why I never drafted Yankee players. Its almost like not dipping your pen in the company ink. My name is David, and I am a fantasy baseball-a-holic. I apoligize if this article is asinine, unfunny, boring and incoherent. It's Cinco De Mayo, so technically a Corona wrote this.


Fri 05/05/06, 8:48 pm EST

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