ArmchairGM Wiki

We all know and love (or possibly hate) the phenomenon known as Power Rankings. They provide just about anyone an opportunity to give their opinion on who the best teams are each week in any given league. But don’t we owe it to ourselves to know who the bad teams are as well? Sport Crack is proud to present a new weekly feature: The Powerless Rankings (Now with good teams at the end so you don‘t have such a bad taste in your mouth afterwards)!


This week's edition features a perennial powerhouse having trouble staying on top as well as many familiar faces (or logos, rather). On the opposite side of the fence, the Top 5 teams has one surprise that many uneducated fans are absolutely shocked about. Who is it? Well, do you really expect me to tell you here? Get reading...


26. New York Yankees (20-24, LW: NR)

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. I fully expect the Yankees to make a turn around, no doubt about it. But I couldn’t resist dropping them in after they dropped their third game in a row. They’re 1-5 in their last 6.

Prognosis: They're the Yankees for goodness sake! I’m a Sox fan and even I don’t even expect them to suck for much longer. Expect them to turn into the usual Yankees we all know and love (or hate) very soon.

Team LVP: Jason Giambi, batting a definitely unlucky .191. Perhaps he needs a new good luck charm?

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27. Seattle Mariners (18-27, LW: 28)

Yes, the Mariners have won two straight -- but guess who they were against? That’s right, the San Diego Padres. But a win’s a win, It’s more than some other teams can say down here.

Prognosis: The offense really needs to get it together. They are in the bottom third of the league in nearly every conceivable offensive category. Poor Felix Hernandez has been pitching his tail off, but with no payoff -- he’s getting hardly any run support.

Team LVP: The entire Seattle Mariners offense.


28. Detroit Tigers (17-27, LW: NR)

Just when you thought they were turning it around and were actually going to play up to their potential, they go ahead and drop five of six games.

Prognosis: If their pitching doesn’t turn it around, I don’t care how potent their offensive lineup is. Not many offenses enjoy playing catch up all the time. Nor can they do so and win.

Team LVP: Justin Verlander, who is a surprising 1-7. Some point out the lack of run support, but I just point back to his 6.05 E.R.A.


29. San Diego Padres (16-30, LW: 30)

I thought long and hard (about 4 minutes) on whether or not I should have left the Padres in the #30 spot. But I just couldn’t get past the Giants losing ways, even though the Padres have the worst record in baseball and at times look like a AAA team.

Prognosis: We’ve come to expect the Padres down here in the basement and they’re looking pretty comfortable. Don’t expect them to leave anytime soon.

Team LVP: Catcher Josh Bard, who’s batting a malignant .202.

And the loser is...


30. San Francisco Giants (17-29, LW: 29)

Another week, another losing streak for the Giants. Surprise, surprise. They are 4-13 so far for the month of May. Welcome to the cellar, boys.

Prognosis: We’re starting to progress deeper in the season, so the Giants have no excuses for their play. Either they start playing better, or they’re going to be out of it before July.

Team LVP: Starting pitcher Barry Zito who is 0-8. Done and done.

Mediocre mentions: Washington Nationals, Colorado Rockies

Power Rankings


5. Tampa Bay Rays (26-19, LW: NR)

Who would have thunk it. The Rays are playing fantastic baseball which is a surprise to some, but not a surprise at all to those of us who had listened to our resident Professor Rays before the season. Forget them just starting off good, this team is for real.

Team MVP: Eric Hinske

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4. St. Louis Cardinals (27-20, LW: NR)

The Cardinals were at #5 until taking 2 out of 3 from the red hot Rays. St. Louis continues to prove that they first two months are no fluke either, and they here to stay at the top of the league.

Team MVP: Albert Pujols


3. Arizona Diamondbacks (28-16, LW: 1)

They may technically have the best record in baseball, but a recent sweep by the Cubs drops the Diamondbacks to number three. Still not bad for a team that wasn’t supposed to compete this season, eh?

Team MVP: Justin Upton

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2. Boston Red Sox (28-19, LW:3)

I will replace a usual statement about the Sox overall in lieu of an official congratulations to Jon Lester for his no hitter last night. Sorry Peter Greenberg, you missed out.

Team MVP: Jon Lester

And the winner is...


1. Chicago Cubs (28-17, LW: 5)

A sweep of the previous number one team in baseball? Unlike some of the other teams on this list, not many people have been taken by surprise by the Cubs play. But they are looking like that the 100th year anniversary of not winning a title may end then and there this season.

Team MVP: Derrek Lee

Honorable mentions: Los Angeles Angels, Houston Astros, Florida Marlins