Article:The Fast Fifteen: Super Bowl Pre-Game Telecast Fun

Haven't done this in a while....here we go....a look at what will happen in FOX's Super Bowl Pre-Game Telecast. The following is not real, and is intended for comedic purposes only.

15. Host Ryan Seacrest to Jimmy Johnson: "Your hair looks FABULOUS!"

14. Jimmy Johnson to Ryan Seacrest: See 15.

13. Joe Buck will visit the set at field level, and then the guys proceed to say for 15 minutes "Dude!".

12. Continuing the American Idol theme, at 1:45 PM PST, Justin Guarini will sing live during his lunch break over at the local Wendy's.

11. At 2:44 PM PST, Troy Aikman will have some thoughts about the game, and talk about the Dallas Cowboys in some way, shape, or form.

10. Frank Caliendo will make his final appearance of the year, in which he quizzes the real Terry Bradshaw on some tough, 6th grade algebra questions.

9. Dana Jacobson of ESPN will appear out of nowhere drinking, and say "F^*k FOX".

8. It finally happens, Jillian Barberie-Reynolds and Terry get it on live at the 50 yard line.

7. Manny Stiles hops over to the set, as he, as an individual, boosts the collective intelligence of the telecast by 50000%.

6. Buck and Aikman will remind everyone that the Giants/Packers game was in fact, cold.

5. Paula Abdul, Randy Jackson, and several rejected American Idol contestants swarm in and talk about football.

4. Howie Long presents his "tough guy" awards, in addition to inventing new words such as tibula.

3. During the picks segment, the guys will promptly pick the Patriots to win, and feel like assholes once the Giants win.

2. Tim McCarver makes a cameo, and explains how the trajectory of the football could help the Patriots win.....this explanation was one of his shorter ones, taking just 35 minutes.

1. Tom Brady will drop his pants, and let each member of the media wash his balls......Gisele, naked at the east end zone, only gets attention from one Marv Albert.

You can tell I haven't done one in a while eh? This one was not one of my funnier ones....but that's fine....we'll get back to the swing of things eventually.