Article:Never Bring Fists to a Water Fight at a Scorers Table Near You

Damn, we thought Super Bowl XLIII was intense…And okay, perhaps it was in a way. However, some where in the great state of Massachusetts, (I’m not exactly sure if the usage of great to describe the state is appropriate) where basketball was born, it’s quite apparent that the Cardinals-Steelers nail bitter can’t match the intensity of a high school basketball game between Watertown and Lexington High School.

Now we’ve all seen scorers tables at basketball games…Hell, some like myself have probably gotten to sit at these tables. We all are well aware of the fast and furious action. Never mind the poor bastard at the table who holds the title of score keeper. Besides the clusterfukc as to what goes on at the table, he’s already in an unpleasant mood to begin with…As if he had a colonoscopy earlier in the day. The last thing he wants to do is sit at any basketball game and jot down freaking stats for these overgrown ankle bitters.

Nevertheless, he puts on a happy face for the kids…At least he has his bottle water to keep him company. Sitting at the scorers table with a bottle of water…I’m just here to tell you this is an unfortunate combination. Watch the upper right-hand corner, where the Watertown scorekeeper, opens his water bottle and empties it into the face of the Lexington scorekeeper. The Lexington scorekeeper punches him.

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Yeah, that’s right…Super Bowl XLIII doesn’t have shit on this baby! No sir, Santonio Holmes…What did you do that was so spectacular besides sell drugs? What I want to know which was the first scorekeeper to say, "tell me how my ass tastes"? See, this is exactly what can happen if a scorekeeper never got passed the first grade…The problem of counting the correct number of personal and team fouls seems to come into play. Glad to see Beavis and Butthead are still alive and doing well!

Honestly it does look like one of their episodes…The guy that threw the water just ate the punch and went about his work because he knew he had it coming, but couldn't resist. And then after, it looked like everything is cool between them after the punches where thrown…As I said, Beavis and Butthead!

Couple things we’ve learned here…People need to stop forming "your mom" jokes. That’s so early 1990’s. Don’t EVER QUESTION the other team’s scorekeeper, unless of course she looks like this, (and then the use of water may be a benefit…you connect the dots on that)! You can disregard she’s waiting for a war to break out and she’s a fire breathing dragon…Minor details! The International Scorerstable Bureau needs to take a hard look at banning all bottled water from all the tables it oversees worldwide. And never bring fists to a water fight at a scorers table…If so, at least bring a super soaker to the table! Or a poncho!