Article:Eff Boston, Phuck Philly, and Pacman/Adam Jones

I love the Giants and really thought they were going to roll on the Browns, but I was wrong. I have owned up to it, but I love them, so take any gambling advice regarding the Giants with a grain of salt. As for the report card for the game:

Giants Offense: gaghlgjlgaDJLKGJLGJLGJLELJGJL Giants D: erlgjar;wl arglerl;gjawergjaerg;lgjkae gyj'aeftgyjar;ygja Giants Special Teams: jdra ;lgalwgtjawrlg jarl;gare;gjareg;jarg;l Giants Coaching: gh ar;gtjawroygjr;ygja4o;ryja;yj4oyuj4rgu8j40tgufhj4ay0hj45yh54GTOANGRLJRV45OH

Overall: D-

Next, Red Sox...trading Manny...dumb. Fans, even dumber. Eff Boston, Eff the Sox. I never root for anybody to get hurt, but I hope Josh Beckett gets to pitch and gets rocked, and gets sooooooooooo pissed that he decides to repeatedly slam his right arm in a car door...while the car is sinking to the bottom of a lake. People will say 'Manny can't pitch and that's what the Red Sox' problem is'. Eff dat!!! This team has no balls, and Manny is like the Kellen Winslow of the postseason...

Red Sox Report Card: A...because I enjoy seeing them getting their heads bashed in BY A TEAM THAT DOESN'T RESPECT THEM!!!!

Next, Pacman "call me Adam, because I'm reformed...oh shit! I'm suspended again" Jones. I don't think that he should be suspended for life. Only for the rest of the year. I do think the Cowboys should say, "oh, Pacman is suspended from playing. Meet our new head coach! Pacman F'n Jones!!!!" He would be better than fatboy Wade Phillips. What would be better? Seeing Wade Phillips jumping for joy after tying the Cardinals on Sunday, or Coach Pacman giving the throat slash to the Cardinals sideline after tying the Cardinals on Sunday. What's better? Seeing the coordinators in the box, calling plays, doing what they do? Or a tinted out skybox where the only coordinating going on is what ho's get in the skybox, and what play to T.O. are they going to call next? It's obvious, and the best thing would be that Jason Whitten would get released for no reason, just so Pacman can put his boy on the roster. By the way, if Wade Phillips was the fifth Ghostbuster and at the end of GB1 when they had to clear their minds, or meet their doom to whatever they were thinking (which was the Stay Puffed Marshmellow Man), wouldn't everybody be f'd because he be thinking of a McRib Sandwich the size of the solar system? Yup.

And while we are on the subject of ghetto cuisine, why does Ryan Howard have to do those Subway commercials for their Big Philly Cheesesteak? As a baseball player, I had to defend the fact that baseball players workout, and then there was the steroid era which helped me build my case that baseball players are into physical fitness. Then I turn on my f'n TV and see a fat brother with a bat in his hands and a greasy ass cheesesteak behind him. Oh, and he happens to strike out 2 billion times a year, and I've seen pop flys that he couldn't get down on. I wonder why? I wish I was in the meeting when Subway decided to go with Ryan Howard:

Exec 1: We need somebody to sell the worst nutrional item in the history of Subway. Somebody who embodies "deep fried"...this 'Eat Fresh' shit ain't working.

Exec 2: I went to a Phillies game last night and saw this fat, black guy strike out 4 times and he fell over on a ground ball.

Exec 1: GO GET HIM BEFORE KFC GET'S HIM FIRST!!!

Yeah, I know he could be MVP, but Phuck Philly.

LaredoSlider is a contributor to Laredoslider.com and to all single moms in the Las Vegas Area