Article:Men Must Wear Short Swim Shorts Not Long Ones

Olaf has come back. Very long weekend for me. Lots and lots of hard work for me to make the money and leave america to comeback home and fish until I die. Some people smart. Some people stupid. And other people like me just have to work to make life and keep family in roof and fed with food. Sometimes I smoke and feel sorry for poor me. But what can I do about it. You tell me young american fat fools.

I work to jobs now. Carwash really busy with rude americans driving in fancy new cars. Who has money for such big things. Not me. I get mad. Gas in big cars by spoiled americans is more money than fed my family for days. I ride bicke and keep legs strong and money in pockets. My boss Miguel is jerkface. Always work faster Olaf. Always make car shine like mirrer. One rich fat american gave me can of beer for washing round wheals extra good. No money tip for Olaf, just stupid can of bud light. I spit on his back window and he goes crazy. Miguel not happy. So what. Just stupid car. So I drink can of beer and Miguel yells no olaf no beer now. Must work. Burger king just as bad. Stupid kid at nite yells at me because frizzer has rats. Why my problem I yell. Not my rats. His rats. He must go and kill rats right as that is fair right. But no. olaf must hit rat with hammer when dead. And then hit other rat until stops breathin. All rats dead now.

Good news now. I had my test for cab skills. Fastest one in class by long shoot. Wife pride of me. Later olaf got luving. It was almost good. Soon I start driving cab. And I can quit carwash or king burger. Just one. Not both right now. But cab driving more money than both.

Today I had shift off from carwash because boss told me to go home. Miguel still mad at olaf. So I go to biech. Biech smells bad. Not like home in demanrk at all. People and men so stupid at beach. Biech for swimming and sports and get body in shape for fishing. Not beening lasy and lying on biech. What is wrong with stupid fat american boys. Why wear shorts under long shorts that go down to ankles. Why look like stupid basketball sports people who trip over shorts instead of wear smart shortering shorts that make good player. Men no better. Stupid fat bellys full of bud light and doghnutts wearing pants shorts that go up to mans armpits. In denmark, people not so stupid. Men wear real shorts. Men swim well and good like real guys. Men winning Olympic medols. Medol means best of ever.

Hans Peter LudvigDam best swimmer of all time. He swim better than any fat american. No american can win at swimming because of fatly body. Fall out of boat and stupid yankee drowns because of fat and lazy and not being smart. Not olaf. I wear proper swim shorts like Hans. Just enough to cover mens parts and keep it in place. Crack in behind hided from peoples eyes. Swim shorts dry in minutes. Very important when fishing and fall out of boat. If pants too big, fill water and drown in water until you are dead. Olaf fall out of boat many times. And I live every time. Just take off fishing pants and swim in shorts to boat. Water cold but better to live and not die. Dead olaf no good to family.

So it is very important to wear right size shorts when swimming. Big swim shorts slow down swimmer. Small and tite shorts make swimmer faster without drugs to help. People laugh at olaf in my swim shorts. Stupid dumb people. I swim faster than all of them. And these shorts last forever. Same ones as I wear at home when on boat. Special secret that keeps denmark winning at swimming is small shorts not big ones. And dont waist life lying on sand. Swim in water. Than drink real beer. Not that stupid bud light crap.

Must go now. Have to get up early and work at king burger. My frined Peter promises to help with me writing here. Told me about good way to speak in English and write with style. Pleaes if someone hear can show me wear my baseball bat medol better wood writing is, I can work on it more with peter. And then I can get better at this. My life helps people hear. And I want to help and not be stupid like Miguel.

Bye. Thank you for helping me on this.