Article:The Fast Fifteen: Events in Life As Described by Commentators

What if Gus Johnson was there to be the announcer for any moment in life? He makes anything exciting no matter how mundane it is. What about Bill Raftery? I'll give some examples.

Losing Your You Know What
15. Bill Raftery shouts "Send it in Jerome!".

14. Joe Buck: "That is a disgusting act by you.".

13. Marv Albert: "I said move it mister, I want in....YES!!! AND IT COUNTS!!".

12. Tim McCarver: "Sex started back in the ancient times when the Chinese......"

Graduating From School
11. Gus Johnson: "MIGUEL WITH THE DIPLOMA!!!! AND THAT'S IT!!!! HE HAS GRADUATED!!!".

10. Emmitt Smith: "What a remarkableating performance here by Randall, as he has completified his educational schooling. What a momentum it is for him."

9. John Madden: "If you you....score well on your on your finals, then then then BOOM!! You're going to graduate."

8. Shannon Sharpe: "BULDDDTGERHERLPUEOETHEITE!!!"

First Child
7. Gus Johnson: "PUSH MRS. JOHNSON!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!".

6. Bryant Gumbel: "And the baby has successfully made it's way through for Mrs. Henderson." Mrs. Helmsley: "I'm not Mrs. Henderson."

5. Joe Buck: "What a disgusting act...."

4. Mel Kiper Jr.: "I see him as a possible 4th round pick in the 2029 NFL Draft."

Kicking the Bucket
3. Joe Buck: "What a disgusting act...".

2. Jay Bilas: "I think you're wrong pal, death has a tremendous upside.".

1. Chris Berman: Dammit, hasn't anyone ever facking been on a deathbed before? FACK!!