NBA's Best Shots: April Edition

by user David J. Cohen

These are the best "shots" of April in the NBA. I have ranked them by "best picture" in reverse order. Anyone with additional ideas feel free to comment.

10. Rafer Alston, April 12th against Minnesota



Griffin: I’m finally gonna get a block!

Blount: Ain't no way he’s skippin his lou outta this

Alston (Skip to My Lou): (CHUCKLING) The net tickles. I got myself into one hell of a bind here. Can’t lay it in the hoop but I can sure as hell lay it in Griffin’s armpit.

Marv Albert: Alston jams it home! What a Spec-tacular move by Rafer Alston!

9. ZaZa Pachulia, April 15th against Milwaukee



(When Pachulia gets on the break and no one is with him Ric Flair’s music/Space Odyssey theme starts playing in the arena)

NOTE: for those who do not know what this is, here’s a link to listen to it: [Flair Theme]

It’ll become instantly obvious once you hear it.

ZaZa: I’m gonna do it! I’m reaching for it! I’m gonna be the first European basketball player to dunk a basketball!

Buck with Headband: he’s not trying to…oh boy.

Buck near the 3-point arc: What’s he doing?

ZaZa: (SUDDEN REALIZATION) Wait a minute. I’m on the way down.

8. Kobe, April 6th against Denver



Kobe: I got this one. Man, this rim sure looks tasty.

Camby: For the love of God, NOOOOOOOO!

7. Jamal Crawford, April 7th against Indiana



Crawford: Why does Larry Brown always yell at me! Why doesn’t Starbury wanna hang out with me? Why am I about to miss this lay-up? Why do we always have to lose? WHYYYYYYY!

Pacer (TO HIMSELF) I was gonna swat it away but now I feel like I’d be taking candy from a baby. All these guys do is whine. When is this game gonna end…

6. Referee “On the court I’m a” Dick Bavetta, April 17th in Toronto



Raptor: There just in warm-ups and this crock’s already looking to T someone up. I’ll show him. (Grabs Dick)

Bavetta: AAAAAAAAHHH! It’s Godzilla and he’s really ticked off! He’s turned red. (IN HIS HEAD: kinda of like Rasheed Wallace whenever I…)

Raptor: Gotcha! Oh look, a camera! Say cheese!

Bavetta: I’m hugging someone! Nooooooooooooooo!

5. Grim Reaper, April 8th in Utah



Reaper: Hahaha. First I got Miles. Then I got Randolph. Blake, you’re next!

Or

Guy in red shirt: (LOOKS UP) Whoa, I don’t wanna go yet!

Reaper: I’m not after you! I’m after them (POINTS AT BLAZER BENCH). Hu-hu-hu-hu-hu-ha-ha-ha!

Guy in red shirt: Haven’t you looked at the standings? They’re already dead.

Reaper: Dammit! Oh wait, isn’t that Howard Dean to my right? (LARGE GRIN) Exxxcellent!

4. Dirk Nowitzki, April 7th against San Antonio



Just look at his face. Nothing can add to that.

3. Antonio Daniels, April 12th against Milwaukee



Daniels: AAAHHHHHH! I got the ball! Oh my God! Oh my God! What do I do? UUUGH! If Arenas weren’t playing his stupid poker games.

Redd: (WHISPERS TO DANIELS) Hey playa ya think you can hook a brother up wit ya boy Spalding for just a sec. I promise I’ll give him back.

Daniels: Just take it! Just take it!

2. Rockets Dancer, April 15th in Houston



Girl: Yeah! What them other girls got on me now!

Tsakalidis: Blah Blah Blah I sit on the bench and make millions Blah Blah Blah…

Pros 70: Bro I don’t care. All I see are...panties!

Pros 0: Wish I could dunk.

Assistant Coach: Hmm. She thinks that’s special. I could do a 360 windmill back in the day.

Guy with goatee and gray shirt: (WHISPERING TO HIMSELF) Oh yeah! She’s soooo hot.

1. Allen Iverson, April 4th against Cleveland



Varejao: How does it feel? Coach always said I had good hands.

A.I.: Ohhh yeaahhh, right there.

Varejao: (TO HIMSELF) Whose got the answer now?

Other Cavalier: Just relax while I gently touch your ball.

Varejao: (TO HIMSELF) He’s finally letting it go. (TO OTHER GUY) Now, get the ball.

Other Cavalier: I’m tappin it over to King James. Don’t worry about it.

Varejao: (TO WEBBER) Would you like one next?

Date
Fri 04/21/06, 12:27 pm EST