Article:Del Negro?! For the love of Chicago Basketball...

Forget winning anytime soon, Chicagoans. Just forget it. Ordinarily, I'd condemn yesterday's inking of Vinny Del Negro as nothing more than the most recent addition to Bulls' GM John Paxson's unfortunately long list of horrifying, gasp-inducing blunders, but let's make an attempt to look at some positives in light of my cheery mood (thank you, Cedric!):

Vinny Del Negro, huh? Aged 41 ... formerly the Phoenix Suns' assistant to the General Manager ... played a couple seasons in Italy, a few more in the NBA ... attended NC State and played under Jimmy V ... did a little color commentating for the Suns before working in the front office ... and, let's see, what else? Oh, he's never before coached a day in his life?

Nope, it's definitely the newest addition to Paxson's long list of slip-ups. (Hey, I tried. Positives don't suit me.)

After scouring the headlines, thoughtfully weighing the potential pros and cons, and doing enough research (five minutes worth!) to determine whom, exactly, this Del Negro guy was, I'm inclined to pose the question: did Paxson believe this to be some sort of race? He must have. There's simply no other excuse for signing a man with so few NBA ties (other than having played in it for 11 mediocre -- 9.4 career PPG -- seasons) especially not so when he's accumulated as much as Mark Cuban or Jay-Z in terms of his -- at this point, nonexistant -- coaching resume.

What was the big, freaggin' hurry, Pax!? What, would biding time for the Finals' conclusion so as to take a shot at the defensive-minded wizard of an assistant Tom Thibodeau have made too much sense? Was Del Negro really such a hot commodity that signing him AQAP was of the utmost importance? GM Steve Kerr did him the service of a single interview, but never seriously considered him for the Suns' job. As far as we know, no other teams with openings expressed interest.

What, was an NBDL team from Idaho making a late charge? Guess so.

Trust me, I realize the team needs a coach before it seriously considers drafting either Beasley or Rose, and that the pivotal, franchise-altering decision draws nearer with every waking moment, but this really could have waited -- at least until Thibodeau was given a shot.

(Don't think Thib would have been worth the wait? Just ask the best basketball player on the planet: "He has inside information on what I like to do, because he taught me most of the stuff. I've been facing his defenses for some time, and they're very, very tough with great strategies and physical defense. He's awesome." If Kobe approves, we should too. Of course, it's meaningless now.)

The Del Negro signing is bad -- really, really bad -- but not totally indefensible.

(A) Probably the most important of the scarce postives: he's dirt cheap; at around two million a season, he's one of the lowest paid coaches in the league. Fully aware of how much the Knicks shelled out for D'Antoni, this is certainly worthy of a relieved sigh.

(B) If things go south quickly, (meaning players disregarding Del Negro's law and acting much like they did this season, and not meaning losses, because those are almost guaranteed) it would be easy to give him the axe, and the blow may fell Paxson in the same, potentially glorious and parade-worthy swoop. Not a bad thought.

(C) As idiotic as it may be to even mention it, there is the slimmer-than-Nicole-Richie chance of him becoming a legitimate, Gregg Popovich-type genius/coach, (my fingers are crossed!) although the moronic Phil Jackson comparisons -- "When Phil started with the Bulls, he was a relative no-name too!" -- hold little weight; in Jackson's first season, a coming-on Jordan and Pippen made for a huge lift...Del Negro's Rose/Beasley, Hinrich, Gooden, and possible Deng and Gordon aren't even in the same solar system. Jackson-Del Negro comparison-makers, stop. Please. We hate to see people make fools of themselves.

(D) Depending on the way you look at things, Del Negro's inexperience could match his players' (the Bulls are the youngest team in the league) and serve as the ideal launching pad for what will unfortunately be a tedious few seasons of losses and rebuilding. Pessimistically speaking, his utter lack of a track record could completely undermine the fundamentals and principles he attempts to instill -- after not having taken a proven Scott Skiles seriously, there is a convincing indication the players will treat Del Negro much the same way. A pretty crucial either-or, really.

It's a little more than difficult to stretch each one of those so-called positives into a, y'know.. positive -- which should tell you something. In truth, I'd be Cubs-break-the-curse type shocked if any of the above four scenarios played out in Del Negro's favor. I'm just searching for some way to excuse this monstrous error, and it's safe to say I'm failing miserably. (Failing miserably? Hey, speaking of John Paxson..)

Had Del Negro truly been the best option available, I wouldn't be upset in the slightest. I'd accept the untested nature of our coach to be permissible in this, what appears to be a longwinded rebuilding situation, and I'd gear up for, at the absolute least, four or five seasons of lottery picking before any even dreaming about any type of success. But Del Negro was not, in anyone's (nope, not even Mama Del Negro's) estimation, the Bulls' best option. Not even close. For anyone, Paxson included, to think otherwise is simply laughable -- not to mention a sure-fire indicator of a mind-boggling lack of common sense.

So, instead of waiting it out, hiring the right man, utilizing the sparse amounts of talent remaining on the team, adding an All Star-to be in Rose or Beasley, and wasting no time in returning to the pundits' regular predictions of a Bulls' Finals berth, Johnny Incapable dug the Bulls' hole a few feet -- nay, yards ... miles! -- deeper.

Instead of Thibodeau, who's been teetering on the brink of NBA head-coaching legitimacy for a l ong  time now, stepping in and putting to use the years of sideline experience Del Negro has not, reviving the defensive prowess that brought the Baby Bulls into yearly contention in the first place, and molding what would surely be his draft pick, a defensive monster in Beasley, into Chicago's most talented and marketable athlete (sorry, Devin!) for the next decade ...... we're with Del Negro. Thanks, Pax!

Instead of Avery Johnson, a man that had reiterated his interest in the Bulls' job upon numerous occasions, forcefully squashing the punks' sorry attitudes -- of which I believe he and his Western Conference pedigree would have been capable -- quickly welding what could potentially be a balanced and successful offense (his pick Rose, Gordon, Deng, Gooden, and Noah) into a yearly contender in the watered-down East -- which would have certainly been a welcome break for him, considering his Mavericks were often trumped by the West's other powers -- and quickly assuming the role of Chicago's most fiery and passionate coach -- Ozzie who? ..... we're with Del Negro. Thanks, Pax!

(Note: I realize Johnson has his flaws -- he mismanaged Jason Kidd on more than one occasion, and upon occasion, it appeared as though he has lost control of his corps, like the time he cancelled practice and the players rescheduled without him -- but you can't argue he's worse than Del Negro. You just can't. Don't even try it.)

Paxson's inability to see the big picture has cost the Bulls -- not to bring up Kobe, Pau, KG, LaMarcus Aldridge, or Tyson Chandler or anything.. -- more than I care to imagine. Now, with his latest folly fresh in the minds of horrified Bulls fans everywhere, it appears as though he's decided winning can wait a decade or two, and that inexplicably hiring a man with a complete lack of car-repairment experience to fix a mangled, post-head-on-collision wreck is more than a sound, justifiable and welcome idea ... it's the best possible course of action.

And you wonder why Chicagoans whine so damn much.

The Bulls weren't so well-off before this particular setback. Now? Suffice to say, in spite of the first pick in the upcoming draft, whether it's Beasley or Rose -- hey, this is John Paxson here, don't rule out OJ...hell, even Kevin Love! -- this team remains a bottom feeder in the Eastern (Eastern!) Conference for a handful of years to come. We're right down there with the Bucks, baby!

I won't call for Johnny Incapable's head. I've done that far too many times in the past  -- you wouldn't believe it, but it gets old.. really. Instead, I'll simply make an attempt at accepting this horrible truth; the truth that's set Chicago basketball back eight years, back to the immediate post-Jordan days:

Vinny Del Negro, head coach of the once-proud Chicago Bulls. Sheesh.

Paxson should have waited. He really, really should have waited. His impatience -- much like the great majority of his other signings, draft picks and trades -- was and is inexcusable. Admittedly, there are a few positives to Del Negro, but certainly not enough to outweigh the fact that a man with a stunning lack of previous experience (none whatsoever!) will be stalking the United Center sidelines next season. And the thought -- even after my accepting of the likelihood of five or six upcoming losing seasons -- is sickening.

I wish Vinny the best, and I fervently hope he proves me wrong. I hope the Bulls reel off 50 wins in a putrid East next season behind Derrick Rose and an exhilirating fastbreak offense. I hope Del Negro wins Coach of the Year, and I hope he becomes one of Chicago's better coaches since the Zen Master left town. I hope Paxson's horribly besmirched reputation gains a bit of much-needed shine due to what will be looked back upon as a successful gamble. I truly hope for all of that. (Ehh, I'm iffy on that last one...)

I just severely doubt its likelihood.

Not to mention Vinny's odds.

Godspeed, Vin. Godspeed.