Article:Random Thoughts, June Edition

It's Tuesday and Game 1 of the College World Series is in the books. It is officially the most important thing on the sports scene right now, yet I cannot get myself into these games to save my life (which makes no sense since I love the SEC and love Fresno State, which I cannot explain). So what in the world am I supposed to do with myself, especially with this blog? Well...

So I was intending to do a NBA Finals, Game 6 running diary, but my laptop blew up on me (damn you Vista and Gateway!), so during such an unbelievably boring time in sports (think about it: no football, no basketball, no significant baseball), what exactly am I supposed to do with myself? Well, how about some random thoughts on the goofiness that's going on in the sports world? Is that something you might be interested in?


 * Is Mike D'Antoni kicking himself for taking the New York job instead of the Chicago one now that the Bulls got the number one pick? Isn't Derrick Rose the most perfect fit EVER for the way D'Antoni runs a team? Instead, he's in New York with a roster full of bums and Stephon Marbury. What's the over/under for how long before D'Antoni boycotts coaching unless Marbury is traded?
 * So Jimmy Johns, one of my top 5 most favorite players at Alabama during my years there (behind Tyrone Prothro, Demeco Ryans, Wesley Britt and Shaud Williams), just got arrested this morning for 5 counts of dealing and one count of possesion of cocaine. Can someone please explain something to me: why is it that a free education to play football, go to class and stay out of trouble has seemingly become an invitation to be an idiot? How is it that over the last 2 years my beloved Crimson Tide have put more players in jail than in the NFL Draft? Even when Miami and Florida State, even Georgia and Tennessee during the early part of this decade (look it up, they both were putting 3 to 6 players in jail each offseason between 2003 and 2005), at least they were getting first round draft picks that were complete hoodlums and winning them games. Apparently, Steakhouse Shula couldn't find any hoodlums that could play really good football while acting like complete morons off the field. I hate my life...
 * Speaking of idiots, Cedric Benson had to install a breathalyzer connected to his car's ignition. The engine won't turn over unless he blows into it and shows he isn't drunk. If you've got one of these in your vehicle, when exactly is the time that you figure out, "I may have a problem with alcohol"?
 * Joakim Noah was arrested for having marijuana in Gainesville. This is a shocker to me. The guy listens to reggae religiously, danced like a buffoon at the SEC Tournament, and showed up to the NBA Draft dressed like this  ...oh, wait a second...Maybe I should have seen this coming...
 * Rick Neuheisel is the new coach at UCLA. So how far is the Commerce Casino from UCLA's campus?
 * Candace Parker just put down the second WNBA dunk ever. The WNBA, expect subpar.
 * Note to self: don't make any more series recordings on the DVR. I was away for one weekend and the thing got so full that it deleted Game 3 and Game 4 of the Boston/Atlanta series, both Hawks playoff wins. When I found out what happened, it felt like part of me died. I'm not even kidding.
 * Loved seeing Bill Belichick at so many Celtics playoff games. Also loved seeing the hot blonde sitting next to him.  How exactly does the Hoody prepare for a date? [Insert video-assistant-hiding-while-taping-her-from-the-closet joke here].
 * Was I the only one who noticed that Kevin Garnett went through about 38 different emotions in the span of 10 seconds during his postgame interview with Michelle Tafoya after Game 6? That guy would have to be one of the most interesting psychological case studies in professional sports.
 * Pacman Jones wants to ditch the nickname and be referred to as "Adam" from now on. Think he'll fine people for calling him "Pacman" like Matt Silverman fined Baseball Musings for calling the Tampa Bay Rays the "Devil Rays?" Please tell me he'll fine people $1 and use those earnings to start the Make It Rain Foundation.
 * So Tim Donaghy's lawyer has come out and said that the NBA is trying to financially destroy Donaghy for embarrassing the league. So, John Lauro, you issued a press release to inform people that David Stern, a former Columbia law student, is trying to financially ruin a guy who has tried to sabotage the integrity of his entire league...Really? What shocking press release is next out of Mr. Lauro? Barrack Obama wants to be the president?
 * So Willie Randolph asked Mets' GM Omar Minaya to fire him before traveling all the way to California if he was to be fired as Mets' manager. Minaya essentially says it's all good, Randolph gets out to California, then Minaya fires him. Is morality completely gone from sports? Has Minaya unseated Bobby Petrino as the biggest scum bag in the sports world? This needs to be a poll on ESPN Sportsnation. Today.
 * The Giants just cut Jared Lorenzen. I officially don't like the Giants. No one in the history of sports has had better nicknames than this guy. Look at this list: The Pillsbury Throwboy, The Abominable Throwman, The Hefty Lefty, The Battleship Lorenzen, the Round Mound of Touchdown, J-Load, Quarter-Got-Back and, my personal favorite, He Ate Me.
 * Last, but certainly not least, Shaq's freestyle diss of Kobe. I'm not going to go into the Shaq/Kobe, who's better debate (but I will say that Shaq was carried to his 4th ring by Dwyane Wade. That's not opinion, that's fact), but I do have to ask one thing: what's worse, Shaq's free throw shooting or his rap "skills?"

So I'm officially out of witty remarks and can't think of anymore stuff that's even close to important in sports right now other than the NBA Draft (but I'll have a whole post for that one...maybe a diary format, even...). Anyhow...

Much Love