Fun with CBS Sportsline Player Updates Headlines

by user Pean

These are actual headlines from player news updates from CBS.sportsline.com for Randy Johnson and Chien-Ming Wang. They are not made up. The phallic references are just out of control.

I swear they do this on purpose

Randy Johnson

 * Big Unit ready to defy age, odds (2/17/06)
 * Johnson jacked up for finish (9/21/05)
 * Big Unit kicked out Friday (9/16/05)
 * Unit ain't all that of late (8/23/05)
 * White Sox pound on the Unit (8/21/05)
 * Big Unit feels good (8/18/05)
 * Big Unit still up in air (8/14/05)
 * Unit ready to roll on Tuesday (7/25/05)
 * Big Unit knocked around (7/2/05)
 * Unit solid vs. Mets (6/27/05)
 * Too much rest for Unit? (5/23/05)
 * Big Unit brings his 'A' game (5/16/05)
 * Big Unit beaten by Devil Rays (4/20/05)
 * Big Unit gets hammered (3/30/05)
 * Angels have interest in Big Unit (7/9/04)

Chien-Ming Wang

 * Wang looks sharp Thursday (3/16/06)
 * Blue Jays blast Yankees' Wang (3/6/06)
 * Yanks want Wang in their own camp (2/9/06)
 * Wang to stick in Yanks' rotation? (9/21/05)
 * Yanks' Wang saves rotation spot? (9/20/05)
 * Wang has 'long way to go' (7/27/05)
 * Yanks' Wang on exercise program (7/21/05)
 * Wang sparkles in Sunday's start (7/3/05)
 * Rays blast Yanks' Wang (6/24/05)
 * Wang to stick in rotation? (6/6/05)

Date
Fri 03/17/06, 10:16 am EST