Article:Guns, Boats, And Footballmobiles



It was a fantastic weekend for midwest football as both the Colts and Bears saw cornerstones of their offense in trouble with the law, with possible suspensions when the new season starts.

For the Colts, a couple weeks after backup running back Kenton Keith acted a fool, the most mild-mannered player in all of sports, Marvin Harrison is sort of maybe somehow connected to a shooting outside his club. Apparently there's some kind of specialty Belgian gun involved that was found in his car wash. For what it's worth, the investigation has been delayed to hunt down a completely unrelated cop killer and no one has actually called Marvin a suspect. With the league's current conduct policy, however, things don't look good for the Indianapolis great.

The Chicago Bears didn't do much better with "couldn't find a hole in a Patpong prostitute" Cedric Benson getting busted for boating under the influence. The police even had to pepper spray dude to subdue him. Clearly they could have taken him down much easier by simply dressing as an opposing defensive lineman and saying, "boo." Benson of course has a different, much more police-brutality-filled account of events, which, given that this took place in Texas, probably has some credence.